I’ve been eating this stuff for years, and I didn’t know it was guacamole.
In our house, we just called it “avocado salad.”
In our house, we ate it as a side dish. We ate it straight. On toast. On crackers. On cold spoons. Under the table. Inside the chicken coop. Upside down. Underwater. What.
We don’t even have a chicken coop.
And then I found out normal people call it “guacamole” and use it as a dip for tortilla chips. But then I found out “normal” isn’t a defined term, and then a class with Postmodernist theory happened to my senior year class schedule, and reality may not be real, and something something hyperreality whatever that is, and Judith Butler, and Super Bowl commercials, and a thick textbook that was impossible to read. And now all I know is that guacamole is yummy.
And you know what? That’s enough for me.
(P. S. Postmodernism is quite fascinating, actually.)
(P. P. S. Do I seem sophisticated now.)
As with most Asian cuisine, it doesn’t matter exactly how much of what you add to this dish. You just gotta have some basic ingredients, and then add in whatever you happen to have on hand. Easy? Easy.
- 1 whole avocado. Butter may not be used as a substitute. There are avocado brownies but there’s no butter guacamole. This proves that avocado > butter.
- A tablespoon or so soy sauce. The Asian ketchup.
- Sesame oil. Just a couple of drops.
- Onions. Maybe a tbsp or two. It gets overpowering.
- Garlic. Maybe 1 clove.
- All of the above. Where is the Yes button.
1. Mash it all together. I don’t know you, but I think you can handle that.
Despite knowing its true identity, I think guacamole is still great on things beside chips. It’s a fantastic complement to the rough texture of toasted baguettes in the morning, a silky smooth balance to the relative acidity of mustard-y roast beef sandwiches, and a great color balance for mostly anything, including your Cheetos-orange mouth. It’s okay, I commit breakfast sins too.
Actually, I don’t like guacamole on tortilla chips because I like tortilla chips for who they are. And you should too.
My cat approves.